A Little More Respectful This Week!

Respecting Myself!

Lead by Example!

Respect is Connected to Everything!

Respect appears to be lacking in Society today. What a difference
it would make if we could apply respect to our daily lives!

Pleasing Others

Learning Self Care

Learning self-care is important. It is not about being self-indulgent, it is simply
 about respecting our own needs and taking care of our own well-being!

Self-care!

Many people put other's needs before their own and can end up exhausted!
Learning how to care for yourself first is not easy to do but necessary. Once
we learn how to love and care for ourselves first, we are then free to care for
others!
Try a little self-care today!

Anger

Anger is a normal emotion but will often create conflict or be the result of
 a conflict. If we get angry and someone tells us to calm down we will
most often get angrier!
Try to remember the next time someone around you gets angry that their
anger belongs to them and they are the only one that can calm
themselves down.

Respecting Self and Others

At The Respect Challenge we believe that Self-respect is
imperative!
If we can respect ourselves we are more likely to
be respected by others. If we can respect ourselves we are
more likely to show respect to others!

The Respect Challenge Principles

Feeling Good About Ourselves

Being respectful to people we may not like is often difficult to do but,
if we can we will always feel good about ourselves.
Liking someone is not a requirement for RESPECT!

Self Love!

How we feel about ourselves matters. Self -care and Self-love is essential
yet, many people find this difficult to do. We can start by liking the person
we are and work towards loving ourselves. 

We May Not Like Everyone!

Many people worry about what others may think of them. This is a
'self-esteem' issue. We cannot be liked by everyone just as we will not like
everyone. How we feel about ourselves is what is important. If we can
maintain respect for ourselves, we will find it easier to be respectful or
courteous to others even if we don't necessarily like them!
'Respect Begins With Me' 

Consequences

As parents, if we do not allow our children to take responsibility for their
own actions and learn about consequences they will continue to behave
this way into their adult life. Children will never learn how to Respect
themselves, others or things.
What are we witnessing everywhere in society today?

Respect Is Not Just About Good Manners!

Many people refer to respect as being about good manners and courtesy for
others. Respect is much more than that.......it is about understanding that we
 possess different beliefs and values. If we can respect this in others
we would all live in a more harmonious world!

Respecting The Differences

We are all different, we all possess differing values and beliefs!
If we can respect this about one another we can then let go of the need
to control or to force our own opinion onto others!
'Live and Let Live'

Do You Love and Care Too Much?

If we love and care too much for others we are not giving ourselves the
respect we deserve. If we take care of ourselves first then we are free to do
for others as we wish...we just need to get it in the right order!

Happy Life!

We at The Respect Challenge believe that this is the 'recipe' for a happy
life! Self-respect and respect for others will reduce conflict, which in turn
creates a happier and more peaceful existence!

Teaching Our Children!

If we do not teach our children to take responsibility for themselves
 and their own actions they will never learn how to respect themselves
 or others!

The Importance of Respect!

Many of the problems in society today are due to the loss of Respect.
If we can understand that Respect is connected to everything we
may come to realise that we need to bring Respect back! 

Shortcomings

In today's world we have become very good at pointing out other
people's shortcomings and tend to judge and criticise others.
Try to keep in mind that pointing out someone's shortcomings will not
change them. Doing this simply damages their self-esteem and self-worth!

Self-Respect

At The Respect Challenge we believe in the importance of self-respect
and self-love. If we can learn to respect ourselves first and then give that to
others, our world would be more loving and more peaceful!
'Respect Begins With Me'

We Are Our Children's Teachers

Parents are their children's teachers and children will 'mirror' their parents
 behaviour. If we can show our children what a respectful relationship is,
 then they will form their own relationships based on what they have
 learned watching us!

Communication With Respect

Respectful communication is about expressing our own thoughts and
feelings. It is about communicating in a non-blaming way . If we 'blame' it
will nearly always create a conflict

Choose Happiness

We all experience difficult days but with every new day we are given
 a new beginning. Choose to be happy and to take care of yourself!
At The Respect Challenge we believe in the importance
of Self-respect. How are we ever going to be respected by others if we
do not respect ourselves!

Changing Our Behaviour

Many people try to control other people's behaviour and try to make them
change. This will never work! We cannot change others, we can only change
ourselves. When we change our own attitude, life becomes easier.

Teaching Children Respect

The only way children will learn about respect is through watching their
parent's own actions.
We are their 'teachers'
If we want our children to be respectful, then show them how it is done!
'Respect Begins With Me'

Respect in the Workplace

Many workplaces experience conflict and bullying because professional
 boundaries are not maintained and the issue becomes personal. When this
occurs it is extremely difficult to resolve. Try to Respect that everyone has
a job to do and liking someone is not a requirement of Respect.  

Respect For Others

Today it is difficult not to get caught up in 'gossip'. At The Respect Challenge
we believe that if we refuse to carry that gossip further on to others, then
 this cruel behaviour stops. This is all about being 'respectful'!
'Respect Begins Me!'

Love and Respect

In the beginning of our relationship or marriage we are loving and respectful.
Over time, we may still love one another but the respect we once had can
 disappear. If we want to improve our relationship or marriage, the first
step is to reinstate the respect by being kinder, more thoughtful and
more gentle with each other!

Respectful Communication

When we communicate with others it is not just about 'talking'. Attentive
listening plays such an important role. When we really listen to someone's concerns
or conversation it shows that we are valuing and respecting that person!

RESPECT BEGINS WITH ME

At The Respect Challenge we believe that Respect is often forgotten in our
 interactions with the people we say we love!

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Let’s stop for a moment and take a look at what’s been happening lately on

Social Media such as Twitter and Facebook. Why is it that some people believe 

they have the right to post whatever they want without any consequences for 

their actions? Why do they behave in such a destructive and harmful manner?

Sometimes it is simply miscommunication or ineffective communication that

creates conflict on Social Websites but what we are experiencing now is a huge

increase in ABUSIVE AND THREATENING BEHAVIOUR that is deliberate

and intentional.

Bullying and cyber-bullying is out of control and it will only get worse!

There is so much talk about regulating social media but doesn’t the responsibility 

lie with its users? Introducing regulations or laws are unlikely to change anything 

because the people involved in this activity have no respect for the law.  It’s their 

behaviour that needs to change.

How many of us are crossing “boundaries” into other people’s lives? How many 

lives are being destroyed by this behaviour? How can anyone stoop so low as to 

suggest to another person that they should kill themselves? What is this world 

going to be like for our children and future generations if we don’t bring about 

change in the behaviour now?

So how do we change this current culture? WE TEACH AND PROMOTE 
RESPECT!

RESPECT IS THE ANSWER!

At The Respect Challenge, we believe RESPECT is connected to everything, our 
marriages/relationships, our children, our extended family, the internet and our 

workplaces.

It is extraordinary how many people actually believe they are respectful yet will

treat others with such contempt! Many of our young and some of our not so young

hold the belief that respect is something they will only give if they get it first. Why 

has Respect become ‘conditional’? Is this where we are going wrong? Respect 
costs us nothing, yet, the pay-off or reward is exceptional!

While many of our younger generation are extremely clever and technologically 

savvy, they can be incredibly rude and self-serving. Simply, many have little 
Respect for anyone or anything including themselves. They often use the word 
Respect and certainly want it but I am unsure they even know what it means. 
Many possess the attitude that ‘it is all about me and what I want’. It’s all 
quite narcissistic isn't it?

Self-serving and selfish behaviour needs to be replaced with Self-Respect 
and Respect for Others.

If we could all learn the importance of Respect and apply it in our day to day
lives, many marriages would not end in divorce, our children would respect 
themselves and others, families would be happier, our teenagers (and adults) 
would not abuse their bodies with excessive alcohol or other substances, and 
workplaces may even be a place we all enjoy going to each day. Facebook 
and Twitter would be a useful tool in connecting respectfully with others!

Is this possible……..Absolutely!

If each and every one of us began changing our own behaviour it would 
change the world.

Our motto is ‘Respect Begins With Me’…….Self-respect and Respect for 
Others.

Become part of the change you want to see in the world!

Join us at www.TheRespectChallenge.com.au

Or join us on Facebook www.facebook.com/TheRespectChallenge

Respecting Ourselves First

The Respect Challenge is all about learning to Respect ourselves first and then giving
Respect to others. If we engage with someone who is disrespectful we are not
respecting ourselves.

If we try not to react to that person with the understanding that their behaviour belongs
to them, we are then free to 'feel' better about ourselves and maintain Self-respect.

Dealing with disrespect can be difficult and today we are experiencing more and more
of it. This can happen in our marriages, with our children, and in the workplace.

Respect begins with me!


Cheers Lyn and Vicki

Relationships

A healthy relationship or marriage is not just about

LOVING ONE ANOTHER, it is also about RESPECT!

We can actually really love a person yet not be

respectful to them.

While this statement may seem perfectly logical, many people can be a

surprised by it. Many couples rarely make the connection that while

they still love each other, the respect they once had has diminished over

time.

This may occur if we become critical or judgmental of one another and

often then, we can speak to each other in a way we would not speak to

anyone else.  Or, there are times when we can feel let down by our partners

and feelings of resentment can be difficult to overcome.

If we want to improve our marriage or relationship, we need to firstly

reinstate the RESPECT.  Try to be gentle, kind and courteous to one another.

We sometimes forget the simple things such as showing appreciation,

exhibiting our manners and doing nice things for each other.

Talk about it, and work on it together.  It will make a difference!

Cheers Lyn and Vicki

'RESPECT BEGINS WITH ME'

'If we want to change anything about ourselves or create change in our lives it has to begin with us'

Today, many people are of the belief that RESPECT is something you give or show to others only if they give it to you first! Is this where we are getting it wrong? Has Respect become 'conditional'? It absolutely has!

If we want to be respected by others, we must give it to them first, it begins with us! Try it and see for yourself. We cannot demand respect whether it is in a relationship, as a parent or in the workplace. 

Self-respect and Respect for Others is an important component in every area of our lives. Just imagine how peaceful our world would be if everyone could respect themselves and one another! 

DISRESPECT

It appears today that most of the disrespect we can experience can come from members of our own family, our extended family and sometimes our work colleagues. It can be quite difficult to be respectful to others when they are behaving badly or when you feel like you are being attacked.

What is important here is to maintain self-respect and not react, with the understanding that their behaviour belongs to them!

Today, the lack of respect is causing mayhem in both our personal lives and in our society.  This is why The Little Book of Respect and The Respect Challenge came about. Many people are “crossing boundaries” into other people’s lives with the belief that they know what is best for another.

The Little Book of Respect is not about teaching people respect, it’s about changing the way we ‘feel’ and ‘behave’ when confronted by disrespect.

You may feel disrespected in your marriage, as a parent, as a child, in the workplace or on the Internet.  If so, then The Little Book of Respect is for you!

 Cheers Lyn and Vicki

Compensation for the victims of bullying?

The media reported this week that a former chief judge of Australia's family court recommends that the victim of bullying should be able to sue the parent's of the bully for compensation.

The trauma associated with bullying and the long term effect on the victim could certainly warrant seeking compensation but we feel it would do little to overcome the problem of bullying. Our Court system is already overloaded and feel the only winners would the compensation lawyers.

Why do we keep trying to treat the "effect" and not the "cause"?

It is the bully that must be held accountable and while we agree with the idea that parents must be responsible for their child's actions, seeking compensation would place enormous financial hardship on the parents being sued. Parents may have to sell their home to pay the compensation or face possible Bankruptcy.

Bullying is not about "money", it is about "behaviour". It is about the Bully being personally responsible and accountable for their actions. Giving back to society in the way of community service work may prove more "humbling" for the Bully!

Cheers

Lyn and Vicki

"Crossing Boundaries"

How many of us are crossing boundaries into other people’s lives? How much conflict is this creating in our world? How many times do we think we know what is best for another person even if we can’t get it right for ourselves?  We offer suggestions, advice and will often demand that we are listened to.  Why do many of us expect that person to follow our advice and then get upset if they don’t? Do we have a right to instruct another on how to “fix” their life?

This is where RESPECT for others becomes important in all our relationships whether it is in our marriages, parenting, friendships or the workplace.  We sometimes think we know what is best for another. We often fail to ask that person what it is they actually want to do. It is important to know that we cannot change others or believe our view of things is right for another. We can only change ourselves. 

If someone has a problem and they want to talk about it, then simply listen to them and try not to offer solutions. Our answers are not necessarily someone else’s and if you listen carefully to what that person is saying you may find they already have their own answers to their problem.

Cheers

Lyn and Vicki

Bullying

Bullying is in the news once again. The latest being that Clubs NSW Industry wants to refuse employment to any person under the age of 22 who has engaged in bullying throughout their school years. They intend to search children's confidential school records to determine whether their job application will be accepted or denied. If the applicant refuses to permit the search their application will not be accepted.

While we are not condoning bullying in any way, this is not the answer!

What happens to the victim who retaliates against the bully after relentless abuse and is then mistakenly determined as being the bully?

We have written a Letter to the Editor of several newspapers and have posted it below. Please feel free to tell us your story.

We have taken this action because we believe it all comes back to Respect. The Little Book of Respect will provide valuable insight into Bullying in Schools and Workplace Bullying.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CLUBS NSW EMPLOYMENT SCHEME AND BEING A BULLY………….NOTHING!

What is the definition of a bully?

“A persecutor, a tyrant, an oppressor, to threaten, to enforce

Bullying is a form of aggressive behaviour manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others”

Dear Parents

I am a Counsellor, my name is Lyn Parker and I work with both bullies and the victims of bullying nearly every day.

I have a program that works effectively for the bullies and, more importantly, the victims and I have been absolutely horrified by the latest news of Clubs NSW employment scheme to refuse employment to anyone who, according to their school records, was a known bully.  

BULLYING IS NOT ON!  Absolutely and Positively!

I am aware that many parents and victims are ANGRY and want to see the bully punished because they rarely face consequences for their actions, BUT this is not the answer. If your child or anyone else retaliates against the bully, they appear to be the one who gets into trouble. How many times have we heard these stories or we have experienced this firsthand. So will the victim’s future career options be affected because they retaliated?

As parents we need to STAND UP and REVOLT against this new course of action! Why do teachers or Club NSW have the right to determine your children’s future? We cannot allow our children’s privacy or rights to be invaded!  

When Clubs NSW enters schools to “warn” children about their job prospects…….WHO is bullying or threatening WHO?

Clubs NSW are failing to recognise the Laws in this country, the laws that protect our Juveniles.  At the age of 18 all or any criminal records are sealed or expunged. This is done so it does not impinge on the child’s ability to gain employment in the future yet, Clubs NSW believe they are privy to confidential school records.

Clubs NSW also needs to be aware of the anti-discrimination laws in this country.

If Clubs NSW wants to give back to society perhaps they could bring awareness and understanding to our youth of the dangers and risks of alcohol abuse and problem gambling!

Clubs NSW, you have this wrong!

There is an answer to this mounting problem.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing bullying either at school or at work please contact Lyn Parker at lynparker11@bigpond.com for more information.

It Begins With Me

Have you commenced The Respect Experiment yet?

We would love some feedback.

Remember to start with No 1....... your Mantra 

“Respect Begins With Me”

So what does this mean………

If what we want is to be respected we must learn to give it to others first.

Try this with your partner, your children or your work colleagues for 1 day

Come back and discuss your day with us!

Keep one thing in mind…..Many people hold the belief that if they are not shown respect by others, they will not give it. Respect must not be "conditional".

Try giving it, regardless of whether you get it back. Respect yourself always! If the other person fails to give it back, it is important to know that you did what feels good for you!

This is all about feeling better about yourself!

Cheers

Lyn and Vicki 

Welcome

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to our first Blog. We are very excited to finally have our website up and running and the launch of the "Little Book of Respect".

We know that Respect will make a huge difference to our world and we look forward to hearing about everyone’s progress.

Our aim is to post information each week to help all of us succeed in bringing about this much needed change.

Cheers

Lyn and Vicki