Compensation for the victims of bullying?

The media reported this week that a former chief judge of Australia's family court recommends that the victim of bullying should be able to sue the parent's of the bully for compensation.

The trauma associated with bullying and the long term effect on the victim could certainly warrant seeking compensation but we feel it would do little to overcome the problem of bullying. Our Court system is already overloaded and feel the only winners would the compensation lawyers.

Why do we keep trying to treat the "effect" and not the "cause"?

It is the bully that must be held accountable and while we agree with the idea that parents must be responsible for their child's actions, seeking compensation would place enormous financial hardship on the parents being sued. Parents may have to sell their home to pay the compensation or face possible Bankruptcy.

Bullying is not about "money", it is about "behaviour". It is about the Bully being personally responsible and accountable for their actions. Giving back to society in the way of community service work may prove more "humbling" for the Bully!

Cheers

Lyn and Vicki

"Crossing Boundaries"

How many of us are crossing boundaries into other people’s lives? How much conflict is this creating in our world? How many times do we think we know what is best for another person even if we can’t get it right for ourselves?  We offer suggestions, advice and will often demand that we are listened to.  Why do many of us expect that person to follow our advice and then get upset if they don’t? Do we have a right to instruct another on how to “fix” their life?

This is where RESPECT for others becomes important in all our relationships whether it is in our marriages, parenting, friendships or the workplace.  We sometimes think we know what is best for another. We often fail to ask that person what it is they actually want to do. It is important to know that we cannot change others or believe our view of things is right for another. We can only change ourselves. 

If someone has a problem and they want to talk about it, then simply listen to them and try not to offer solutions. Our answers are not necessarily someone else’s and if you listen carefully to what that person is saying you may find they already have their own answers to their problem.

Cheers

Lyn and Vicki

Bullying

Bullying is in the news once again. The latest being that Clubs NSW Industry wants to refuse employment to any person under the age of 22 who has engaged in bullying throughout their school years. They intend to search children's confidential school records to determine whether their job application will be accepted or denied. If the applicant refuses to permit the search their application will not be accepted.

While we are not condoning bullying in any way, this is not the answer!

What happens to the victim who retaliates against the bully after relentless abuse and is then mistakenly determined as being the bully?

We have written a Letter to the Editor of several newspapers and have posted it below. Please feel free to tell us your story.

We have taken this action because we believe it all comes back to Respect. The Little Book of Respect will provide valuable insight into Bullying in Schools and Workplace Bullying.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CLUBS NSW EMPLOYMENT SCHEME AND BEING A BULLY………….NOTHING!

What is the definition of a bully?

“A persecutor, a tyrant, an oppressor, to threaten, to enforce

Bullying is a form of aggressive behaviour manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others”

Dear Parents

I am a Counsellor, my name is Lyn Parker and I work with both bullies and the victims of bullying nearly every day.

I have a program that works effectively for the bullies and, more importantly, the victims and I have been absolutely horrified by the latest news of Clubs NSW employment scheme to refuse employment to anyone who, according to their school records, was a known bully.  

BULLYING IS NOT ON!  Absolutely and Positively!

I am aware that many parents and victims are ANGRY and want to see the bully punished because they rarely face consequences for their actions, BUT this is not the answer. If your child or anyone else retaliates against the bully, they appear to be the one who gets into trouble. How many times have we heard these stories or we have experienced this firsthand. So will the victim’s future career options be affected because they retaliated?

As parents we need to STAND UP and REVOLT against this new course of action! Why do teachers or Club NSW have the right to determine your children’s future? We cannot allow our children’s privacy or rights to be invaded!  

When Clubs NSW enters schools to “warn” children about their job prospects…….WHO is bullying or threatening WHO?

Clubs NSW are failing to recognise the Laws in this country, the laws that protect our Juveniles.  At the age of 18 all or any criminal records are sealed or expunged. This is done so it does not impinge on the child’s ability to gain employment in the future yet, Clubs NSW believe they are privy to confidential school records.

Clubs NSW also needs to be aware of the anti-discrimination laws in this country.

If Clubs NSW wants to give back to society perhaps they could bring awareness and understanding to our youth of the dangers and risks of alcohol abuse and problem gambling!

Clubs NSW, you have this wrong!

There is an answer to this mounting problem.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing bullying either at school or at work please contact Lyn Parker at lynparker11@bigpond.com for more information.

It Begins With Me

Have you commenced The Respect Experiment yet?

We would love some feedback.

Remember to start with No 1....... your Mantra 

“Respect Begins With Me”

So what does this mean………

If what we want is to be respected we must learn to give it to others first.

Try this with your partner, your children or your work colleagues for 1 day

Come back and discuss your day with us!

Keep one thing in mind…..Many people hold the belief that if they are not shown respect by others, they will not give it. Respect must not be "conditional".

Try giving it, regardless of whether you get it back. Respect yourself always! If the other person fails to give it back, it is important to know that you did what feels good for you!

This is all about feeling better about yourself!

Cheers

Lyn and Vicki 

Welcome

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to our first Blog. We are very excited to finally have our website up and running and the launch of the "Little Book of Respect".

We know that Respect will make a huge difference to our world and we look forward to hearing about everyone’s progress.

Our aim is to post information each week to help all of us succeed in bringing about this much needed change.

Cheers

Lyn and Vicki